This year's party was no disappointment, especially in the story department. Let me just share my favorite with you, so you can share my horror and amazement, mmkay?
The folks that own the house three doors down from us are avid gardeners, both of flowers and food. Mrs. Neighbor related a story to us that has me, well, a bit spooked. As she was cleaning up around the backyard a few days ago, she moved a trash can aside to get to some leaves. And what did she find behind said trash can? Go ahead. Guess.
A snake? Nooooo, snakes are too commonplace. Not a snake. That's too easy. Guess again.
A mouse? Nope. Did I mention Mrs. Neighbor has several cats? No, not a rat either. Not a rodent of any variety.
A spider, you say? Yeppers, that's what it was. But no common, everyday, ordinary spider. IT WAS A @$%$&%#$%@ TARANTULA!!
So what did she do when she saw the wee little beastie? Well, I'd love to tell you, but unfortunately when she said, "Tarantula" (you have to read that like in the movies, ya know? All slooooooowwww and warped and creepy-like, all deep-voiced like a tape recorder with bad batteries - taaaaraaaaaannnnnntuuuuullllllaaaaa) my brain stopped functioning at a thinking level and started functioning at a "I'm going to wrap our house in plastic and not come out until the first good snow has blanketed the ground with 16 inches of arachnid-killing freezing cold precipitation and that thing better not come after my babies or I'll go all Mama Bear on his a**." Yeah, didn't catch the rest of the story, except to know that the cursed, hairy thing is still on the loose in my 'hood!
Thank You, God, that I was born in the Midwest, and it freezes here. Thank You that it's nearly October, and the first good killing frost is coming. Please help me resist the temptation to Google "tarantula" (taaaaaaaaaarrrrraaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnntttttttttuuuuuuulllllllaaaaaa) and find out all kinds of creepy facts about venom and eyes on stalks and palps and exoskeletons.
***shudder***
No comments:
Post a Comment